A View From The Tower


June 2nd, 2010 by Raven Garcia

Raven’s Glossary of RavenGarcia.com And The Terms Used Therein

A guide to the terms and abbreviations which you may encounter during your stay at www.RavenGarcia.com with which you may be unfamiliar, some of which may exist solely in the vocabularly of Raven Garcia.

The Alternative Spectrum refers to a wide range of musical styles and genres which I associate with being “of an alternative nature”.  This covers all forms of metal and also punk, ska-punk, grunge, classic rock and everything in between, and is very difficult to define briefly. Check out the article “Raven’s Theory On The Alternative Spectrum” (Coming Soon) for further reading, or for a brief explanation, click here.

Bullmugs is a swearword I invented. It doesn’t really mean anything, but I like saying it.

Floppy Disks is what I say when I go to say “Oh Fuck” then realise it’s not a great time to swear so it becomes “Oh Fffffffff…floppy disks”. I learned it as a child off of Neil from the Young Ones.

G.I.F.O.: stands for “Google It, Fuck Off”. I have Kenny from the Mucky Pup to thank for this one as I believe he invented it. It’s what you say when you’re talking to someone who keeps asking you annoying questions, particularly when you’re telling them about something you know to be right but they continue to express their doubt. Example: If you asked me what the capital of Pakistan was and I told you it’s Islamabad, but you then said “I think you’ll find it’s Lahore”, I would say “Google it, Fuck Off”. Nobody can touch me on capital cities. Abbreviated on this site purely for ease of writing,  it is always used in full when spoken.

K.S.W.E.P.S. stands for “Knuckle Sandwich With Extra Pain Sauce” – The sort of thing you might involuntarily order if you mock Raven Garcia’s hairstyle, spill his pint, or otherwise upset him in any way. Once again abbreviated purely out of convenience.

Metaller’s Neck is the medical name given to the stiff, aching neck one gets the morning after a night spent headbanging in a rock club or at a concert.

Telecaster is what I call those black screens with the red readout at bus stops. Yes, I know that a Telecaster is in fact a guitar. But I’m not sure what the proper name for those bus stop things is, and I figured they’re forecasters that display information via a tele-visual readout, hence ‘Tele-casters’. If you do know the proper name and feel inclined to tell me it, I’ll still call them telecasters. To me that’s what they’ll always be, so live with it. 🙂